It’s Here Now, As Always: The Interfaith Marriage in Indonesia

The issue of interfaith marriage has been debated for more than three decades in Indonesia, especially after the enactment of the Indonesian Marriage Law (Undang-Undang Perkawinan or UUP) Number 1 year of 1974, which has restricted inter-religious union. The law states that a marriage is legitimate only if the prospective bride and groom share the same religion (The Jakarta Globe, 27 Sept 2010). Since then, the interfaith marriage remains a sensitive issue and its legalization remains a dream of many people in Indonesia (The Jakarta Post, 24 April 2005). It is a fact that thousands of Indonesian interfaith couples have experienced difficulties and hindrances by government regulation, by their religious rules, and by the societal norms to get married and register their marriage (Monib & Nurcholish, 2008, p. xix). Many even have to break their relationship and suffered psychologically because they could not find a way to have a legal marriage in their own country. Not only the UUP (Law No. 1/1974) has prohibited interfaith marriages, the religious rules restrict their follower to marry a non-believer, and the societal norms being unfriendly with the interfaith couples and their presence amidst the community (Nurcholish & Baso, 2010, p.xii). Because of a strict regulation as interpreted at the marriage law, we found many cases where people fake their identification or Kartu Tanda Penduduk, just to be able to register their marriages (The Jakarta Globe, 27 Sept 2010). They nominally convert to one religion and manipulate the rules just to simplify the bureaucratic process in registering their marriage (Nurcholish, 2004, p.220). While some other couples decided to get married outside Indonesia rather than getting fake identification card, which is clearly illegal (The Jakarta Globe, 27 September 2010).  

Despite being married to someone with whom we choose and love is an important issue because it concerns basic human rights about freedom of choice to form a family; many people argue that interfaith marriage should be prohibited in Indonesia. However, it is my contention that interfaith marriage contributes to strengthening the community’s religious tolerance in Indonesia; therefore the marriage must be legally recognized by the state by amending the current Marriage Law (UUP Law 1/1974). By doing so, I believe that broader communities will finally more accepting of the marriage and respect the rights of the interfaith couples to marry and raise a family. 

The UUP 1/1974 has written that a marriage in Indonesia is only legitimate if it is performed according to the laws of the respective religions and beliefs of the parties concerned. However, this legal prohibition of interfaith marriage contravenes national and international human rights laws which have been ratified by the Indonesian Government. The amendment of the Indonesian Constitution (Undang-Undang Dasar 1945) and Ratification of International Covenant Number 12 year of 2005 on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights have acknowledged and placed the crucial position of human rights in the Indonesian legal framework. 

Therefore all legislation should embody those principals of human rights. Given its centrality in an individual life and its subsequent social and legal implication, even a marriage for two persons with different beliefs, and therefore performed in two different rituals, should be recognized by the Government as this is the right of every citizen. Especially a democratic government such as Indonesia, which has its main responsibility as fulfilling civil administration needs of its citizen, should not have the authority to choose any religion that becomes the nation's official religion,  to recognize or not recognize certain condition in relation to religion, religious views, or religious rituals. The Government should not also have the authority to act in discriminating manner against citizens who embrace a religion or a belief, or to the desire to marry citizens of different religions. Furthermore, to form a family is a very basic human nature and a fundamental building-block of a functioning, vibrant and nurturing society. Therefore the right to raise a family should be fully embraced and protected by the people and the society, and the Government should not interfere in any manner on legalizing interfaith marriages as it is contravenes to its citizen human rights (www.bh4kti.multiply.com).   

Interfaith marriages are not without their detractors. One argument against the acknowledgment of interfaith marriage is that most religions in Indonesia prohibit interfaith marriage. This argument assumes that marrying a person with different religious background can diminish religious values and piety, or as stated by the Indonesian Ulema Council (MUI) that religion can be side-lined by the interfaith marriage (MUI against Interfaith Marriage, 28 Sept 2005 at www.mui.or.id).  However, it is my belief, and is derived from my own experienced, that interfaith marriage actually reduces religious distance in our community. The reason is that the interfaith couples provide an opportunity for our family and surroundings to understand each other’s religion in a more non-confrontational manner, and at the same time practicing the most basic essence of our own-religion, which are love, care to one-another and tolerance. Through their marriage, an interfaith couple plays a conciliatory role in introducing tolerance and pluralism to their children, extended families and their community (Monib & Nurcholish, 2008, p. 242-243). The couples are not only tend to learn more about their spouse’s religion and understanding better their own-religion, but also practicing more consciously the concept of tolerance in their daily lives particularly in respecting the differences in their family, and introduce the learning and values to their children, so that they can respect other values in their life (Pernikahan Beda Agama, 15 Feb 2012 at www.irindonesia.wordpress.com). Furthermore, a multi-religion family develops stronger respect in honoring other people’s religion and beliefs. Again, this is also from my own experience as an interfaith couples and a counselor for the interfaith marriages. Before I got married in 2005, I did not really know and understand Islam. I even had misperceptions about Islam and its followers. But now I do have a better understanding about this religion and its tradition, and to my surprise by knowing Islam and Moslems, at the same time I also learned and embraced Christianity, my religion, in a more meaningful and pious way. 

Marrying a person who have a different religion do not let me side-lined my own religion, but in fact it enrich my understanding about my own religion and my spouse’s religion. By doing this, it effects greatly in building our tolerance of each other’s faiths and practices, and in strengthening our relationship. In addition, there was a study on inter-religious people in Ranurejo Village in East Java which concludes that despite having different faiths and religious practices, the local villagers have lived in ways that prove their high-level of understanding and practice on pluralism and tolerance to one another. The interfaith marriages in that community have contributed in creating tolerance and maintain it in their society. People with different faiths can easily meet, interact, share and exchange their views, and solve social problems together in an open and respectful environment (Al Aluf, 1996, p. 139-140). A similar study conducted by Dr. Dilip Amin in several Asian Countries has concluded that most interfaith marriages have established the foundation of their marriages on a strong mutual respect for religious diversity (Amin, 2009, p.7). 

A related argument against this form of nuptial states that interfaith marriage can cause division in the community. These interfaith couples, so this argument goes, may potentially create conflicts in their family and surrounding communities.  Moreover, many parents of interfaith couples are in fear of condemnation from either their religious leaders or their communities. However, I believe that interfaith marriage is an important indicator of peaceful and harmonious relationships between communities in religiously diverse society such as Indonesia. With a current condition in Indonesia where violence, fanaticism and religious radicalism occurred in people’s daily lives, “having many legal interfaith marriages in the community will bridge more supportive environment for religious diversity and can actually produce closeness between people with different faiths”, (Justification for Interfaith Marriage in Indonesia, 24 March 2011 at www.najwasungkaracademics.wordpress.com). Furthermore it is not only that many interfaith couples can introduce different religious traditions in their community, but also through their marriage and union, the couples have contributed in developing a more substantial relationship among people with different faiths, the couple often times are the medium that makes them meet and talk. The people surrounding the interfaith couples will benefit by having the opportunity to learn more about other people’s religion and traditions, eliminate misperception and misconception about other religions, reduce tensions due to the misperception, and create and improve harmonious environment in their community. An interfaith couple, Adi Abidin and Lia Marpaung, has shown this through their marriage in early 2005 where it was attended by many numbers of religious and community leaders where everybody from different religions could got-together for the first time in Salatiga Municipality in Central Java, and agreed to one similar thing: supporting the marriage (Nurcholish & Baso, 2010, p.68). Since then, numbers of inter-religious leaders have met regularly in that municipality and various issues have been discussed and shared together in a pluralistic and tolerance environment.    

In conclusion, despite the claims by opponents that interfaith marriage should still be prohibited in Indonesia, there are some evidences that interfaith couples in fact play a substantive and contributing role in improving religious tolerance in their community. Furthermore, it is love that bonds a marriage. Love is a human right. Men and women of full age, without any limitations due to religion, race, and nationality, have the right to marry and to form a family. They are entitled to equal rights as other married couples from similar religion. The National and International legal instruments have recognized this universal declaration of human rights, therefore, the Indonesian people, society and government should legally recognize interfaith marriages through amendment to the Marriage Law (UUP Law 1/1974).