Why Suicide ?

On my way home last two nights ago, I was shocked with an incoming sms from my brother. He told me that one his friend, A-liang, has passed away on last April 8th. He was suicide from the 12th floor of Gajah Mada Plaza. I heard about the incident from the morning's news on that day, but I don't have any clue that the victim is someone that I know quite well. The TV reporter said his name is Djoko. I knew him as Djoho or what we always called him, A-liang. 

I knew him from my older brother. Last time I met him was on my last birthday party on January 11th. Together with my brother and his other six friends, A-liang came and celebrated my birthday together on that evening. Then I never met A-liang again 'till I heard what happened to him. 

I believe that an individual has a right to end his life. Including if the person choose to end his life with this term of "suicide". Not only to A-liang, suicide cuts across all sex, age, and economic barriers. People of all ages complete suicide, men and women as well as young children, the rich as well as the poor. No one is actually immune to this tragedy. And whether we accept this fact or not, suicide was an individual decision, rational or not. It was his choice, not us. 

Why would anyone, like A-liang, willingly hasten or cause his own death ? Mental health professionals who have been searching for years for an answer to this question generally agree that people who took their own lives felt trapped by what they saw as a hopeless situation. Whatever the reality, whatever the emotional support provided, they felt isolated and cut off from life, friendships, etc. Even if no physical illness was present suicide victims felt intense pain, anguish, and hopelessness. John Newer, the author of After Suicide, says, "He or she probably was choosing death as much as choosing to end this unbearable pain."

But sometimes there are no apparent causes. No matter how long and hard we search for a reason, we won't be able to answer the "WHY" question in our head. Just like in this A-liang's case. I have no idea whether he is unhappy with his life, his own self, or whatever. When I met him or my other brother's circle of friends, he looks happy. Smiling. Laughing. Teasing each other. I still remember that evening when he was jokingly asking me to be his counsellor. Now I asked my self whether it was a joke, or he means it ??? [Please forgive me for being not sensitive on this matter, for ignored the message that he may try to alert us on that evening...] 

Today I remember again on what Mother Theresa said about Poverty. Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, ... is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. 

[For A-liang, I wish that from your current place you are now able to see things clearly ....that your friends miss you and they love you. If only you give them a chance, ... your family may not wanted you for whatever reason, but since you've been staying in your new house in Puncak...I wish you never leave that house, a place with people who can give you love and comfort, .... Your friends there told me that if only your family do not take you out for that Imlek day, if only you are able to return to that house again....you may still alive and dancing with them....and I can still meet you during my visit there....]